Well, This One Time
by geekischic
Summary: With his at least three centuries of experience, haven't you ever wondered where the craziest place Josef's ever had sex is? Rated T just to be safe.


A/N: Just a random little one shot I thought up

**A/N: Just a random little one shot I thought up. I hope you like cause it made me laugh just to write it. No idea where it came from, but I still like it so I hope you do too. As always, reviews are welcomed and appreciated. :)**

-o0o-

Mick's eyes were burning. He hadn't blinked in over two hours, due to his staring at the computer screen in front of him. There wasn't any drawer space left in the filing cabinets for his case files, so he'd finally broken down and decided to switch over to electronic filing. Two hours in, and he wasn't even halfway through his first year as a PI. It was going to be a long process.

"Mick?" Beth's voice floated to his ears from the doorway. He rubbed his eyes wearily and turned to face her. "Yes Beth?"

"You've been at this for two hours already. Take a break."

He sighed tiredly at her request. "Beth, these files aren't going to upload themselves."

She smirked and walked into the room, heading to where he was sitting in his office chair. "I know, but I just think you could use a break. There are a lot more fun things we could do in the meantime." And with these words, she sat in his lap, straddling him as she brought her lips to his. Mick caved, drawing her closer as he hungrily returned her kiss. This would definitely be more fun than uploading case files.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and turned the chair to face the desk. With one arm, he shoved everything on the desk to the floor, leaving a clear space for him to lay down his giggling girlfriend. "I've always wanted someone to actually do that."

He raised his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Your wish is my command." She let out another laugh as she brought his lips back to hers, ravenously kissing him as he gently climbed on top of her. He felt her run her hands down his chest, quickly undoing every button before throwing the garment to the floor. He in turn hastily pulled off her shirt, revealing the silky smooth alabaster skin beneath it. But just as he was about to get started, an unexpected voice interrupted the two.

"Well, well, well, isn't this an interesting sight."

"Josef?!" Mick gasped, shocked at the surprise appearance by his best friend. He and Beth jumped up from the desk, scrambling to find the clothes they'd already removed from each other. "What are you doing here?"

"It was a slow day at the office, so I thought I'd come and bother you two." His voice was full of snark as he took in the sight in front of him. This little incident was definitely something he was going taunt Mick with for a while. "Though I have to say, this isn't exactly the place _I_ would pick to get frisky."

Beth rolled her eyes as she pulled her shirt back on. "Come on Josef, it's not that weird of a place have some fun."

"Oh I know Beth. You aren't the one with a few centuries worth of experience in that department." That comment gave Beth an idea. Ever the curious cat, she raised an eyebrow at Josef and placed her hands on her hips. "Oh really? Well Josef, why don't you tell me where the craziest place you've ever had sex is?"

Josef let out a hearty laugh at her comment. "Yeah, because I'm going to tell you that without a little something in return."

"What do you mean?"

"Well how about a trade? You tell me your craziest moment, and I'll tell you mine."

Mick shook his head at the crazy offer that had taken place in the span of two minutes. "Well, if you're this proud of the story, it's got to be worth the time. I want to hear this."

Josef smiled crookedly as he turned his attention back to Beth. "Well, Beth, are you in?"

Her face reddened as he called her on it, obviously embarrassed at the memory that came to mind. "Oh fine. It was on spring break in college. My boyfriend and I were pretty drunk and we wanted to have a little bit of fun, but the beds in our hotel room were already occupied." She paused, chuckling at the fact that she was actually telling this story. "So, we went up to the roof of the building for a little privacy. Things got a little rough and we ended up rolling off the roof and into the pool below."

Mick's eyes widened at her story, concerned for her safety, while Josef just let out an amazed laugh. "Were you okay after the fall?"

"Yeah, the part of the roof we were up on was only one story high so it wasn't that big of a fall, but it was still a pretty interesting experience."

"Sure as hell got that right." Josef had stopped laughing long enough to get a sentence out.

Beth folded her arms and gave Josef a mock annoyed look. "Well, Josef, I think it's time for your story."

"Of course." Josef grinned proudly as he prepared to tell his story. "I have to say, I am rather proud of this one."

Beth rolled her eyes. "Come on Josef, what _aren't _you proud of?"

Josef shrugged before continuing the story. "Well, it was about 1703 and I had joined a pirate's crew at the time. I needed a little adventure in my life." He added that last little bit as he saw Beth's curious expression. "I met this girl on the ship, beautiful girl for a pirate, and she came onto me. We went down into the ship for a little privacy and ended up where the cannons were located. As we were, well you know, we somehow accidentally set off the cannon in the bottom of the ship. Let's just say that the British navy wasn't exactly happy."

Mick let out an incredulous laugh and Beth just stood there with a shocked expression on her face. "You set off a cannon into the British navy while having sex on a pirate ship?!"

Josef just smiled and raised his eyebrows. "Well, I'm sorry to have interrupted such an important little moment here. I think I'd better head out." The sarcasm returned to his voice as he turned to leave the office, leaving a shocked Mick and Beth behind. As he left, Beth turned to Mick once again. "Did you see _that_ coming?"

"No, but I'm very glad I heard that story." He took a deep breath to quench the laughter that still bubbled through every few seconds. "Now, where did we leave off?"

Beth smiled and walked up to him before wrapping her arms around his waist. "I think I remember." She placed a kiss on his smiling lips before taking his hand and leading him into the living room. After all, a couch is much more comfortable than a computer desk.

**-End­-**


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